Non omnia morias

I once had a discussion with friends as to what we would put on our epitaphs.  The answers ranged from the serious to the equally absurd.  One friend wanted to put, “Finally” in his.  Another wanted, “I am home”.  Me?  Well frankly, I’ve already thought of mine a long time ago.  It would be:  Non omnia morias.

Non omnia morias?

Yes, Non omnia morias.  It’s Latin for, “Not All Of Me Will Die”.

One friend who knows the meaning asked me, “Why so angsty?  And why are you being so morbid?”  I could only quip, “Well, the mere thought of death brings out that part in any body.  Being morbid, I mean.  As for the angsty part, I have enough reasons to be so I guess that answer would just have to suffice you.”

Hehehehe.  Talk about evading the topic.

The thing is, I don’t find my epitaph-to-be angsty at all.  I just want to get it across to whoever would chance upon my grave that despite being six feet under, with my body probably getting eaten by maggots and slowly rotting away from existence, a part of me still lives on, be it inside somebody else’s heart or mind.  I have this dream of leaving behind a legacy for the next generation to see, if not appreciate.  It doesn’t need to be something big, just something that I know will get some recognition from some people.  Having been called a pretty decent writer by some “loyal” friends, I am in the process of compiling all that I have written during the course of my twenty three year existence.  If the heavens will permit me to live a few more years, perhaps sixty or more, I could probably add some more to my collection.  This collection I will then give to my grandchildren so that they will have something to remember “Grams” by.  Then, who knows, I might actually want to publish it (which I am not inclined to do at the moment since I am not THAT confident of my writing).

Angsty?  Perhaps.  Morbid?  Definitely.  But then, who cares?

Reminiscing

April 11, 2004 was Easter Sunday, the highest celebration in the Church Calendar.    A day to remember the resurrection of the Lord.  A day every Christian looks forward to.

Heck the only reason I was looking forward to Easter Sunday when I was younger was so that I could finally eat meat again!  And I thought it would still be the same last year.  Boy, was I wrong.  Dead wrong.

A year ago today, on an Easter Sunday, my more than seven-year relationship ended.  My relationship with the guy whom I’ve been with since our junior years in high school.  The guy who promised never to hurt me, never to leave my side called it quits.  OK so I was the one who ended it, technically but it was him who wanted to end it.

I felt betrayed, even cheated.  It ended without any caveat on his part, no explanations.  Up until now, with both of us being in new relationships, he still refuses to talk to me and tell me why. 

I am no longer bitter about what happened.  The pain still lingers but I’m happier now.  Definitely I am.  The person I am with right now makes me happy in a way I never thought possible.

But let me reminisce.  Just this once.  Let me look back at what once was.  Let me shed tears for what could have been and what will no longer be.

For afterwards, I will be happy.

Of tables and friendships (my high school story)

High school… *sigh* everytime I think of my high school life, I can’t help but smile.  For me, it is the peak of my student days, specifically my junior years.  III-Mapagkalinga… high school and beyond… (more…)

What it means to serve

I am a public servant.  I have been one since I graduated from the university.  Working for the government was never an option for me.  It was my only choice.  Having been blessed to be called a “Iskolar ng Bayan”, all I wanted was to give back to the people what they spent on me. (more…)