Regrets

Browsing through Friendster yesterday, I found out that a pretty close friend of mine during my elementary days got married last December.  Not only that, I also discovered that quite a handful of my other classmates, be it in primary or secondary school, have already tied the knot (or already with kid/s of their own.  Whether they’re married or not is another issue altogether).

Anyways, so there I was looking through my friend’s wedding pictures, I couldn’t help but feel a pang of regret.  Just a twinge, mind you.  I couldn’t help but think that life is unfair.  That if things had been different, I would have been planning a December 2007 wedding right now.  A wedding with the person I was with for most of my teenage (and early adult) life.  2007 would have marked our tenth year as a couple had we still been together.

*sigh*

So when news broke out early last year that we were no longer together, a lot of people felt sorry for us.  They regretted the untimely demise of a relationship that has become the standard for some of our friends.  But I guess nobody regretted it more that I did (I couldn’t speak for my ex as we are not on speaking terms right now. It isn’t my choice, though.  Talk about being bitter ).

Right now, though I am in a new relationship, marriage is one of the farthest things in my mind.  I guess being a part of a couple for quite a while, I forgot to do things for myself.  Everything I did then was for the benefit of my relationship with him.  I forgoed a lot of things because doing them would mean spending less time with him.  I passed up the opportunity of studying abroad because I didn’t want to miss him so much.  I never planned for my own future, he was always included in my dreams.  But hey, there’s nothing wrong with planning your future with that special someone but I guess I made the mistake of forgetting that though I am a part of a couple, I am still my own person.  Believe me, I learned it the hard way.  I had to start from scratch when the relationship ended.

Right now, the person I am with is two years my junior but is more eager than I am to tie the knot.  But I am taking my sweet time.  I still need to do things for myself before I finally say “I do”.  I don’t want to have regrets.  Regret is such an ugly word.

For now, I need to see New Zealand first