What it means to serve

I am a public servant.  I have been one since I graduated from the university.  Working for the government was never an option for me.  It was my only choice.  Having been blessed to be called a “Iskolar ng Bayan”, all I wanted was to give back to the people what they spent on me.

So there I was fresh from college, holding a degree in Public Administration, going from one government agency to another.  I could have opted to try my luck on a private firm but I didn’t.  I could have applied as a call center agent* but I refused to.  I wanted to serve.  To serve the people.  I was asked to report for an interview at the Department of Education.  And so I did.  And I found myself reporting for my first day in office.

Like any other fresh graduate, I was full of idealism.  I wanted to be able to make a difference in our office.  I didn’t want to become just another nameless face amongst the crowd.  I wanted to stand out, to initiate reform.  And like any other fresh graduate, I was disapoointed… no, disillussioned, with what I had to face.

I experienced what it was like to be ridiculed for what I believed in.  People were constantly telling me, “Kaya ka ganyan kasi bata ka pa.  Kapag tumanda ka na, magbabago na rin ang pananaw mo sa buhay.”   They said that the moment I decide to have my own family, my ideals will change in much the same way theirs shifted.

Almost three years into serving (or slaving as what my friends call it) and I haven’t had any salary increase when my friends have had three.  Almost three years and my bank account hasn’t improved much when my friends’ own are nearing the six-digit mark.  So what have I got in exchange of my idealism?

I have got my pride.  Because I know that in my own little way, I was able to help those people that comes to me with regards to my job.  I find comfort in knowing that I was of help to them and I didn’t ask for anything in return.  I am proud to say that almost three years I the office and most expensive thing I got from a grateful client was a pack of pastillas de leche which I wasn’t able to refuse because he left it on my table when I wasn’t around.  Besides, I love pastillas.

I have got my idealism intact.  I haven’t made much of a difference in the department but I am taking my sweet time.  I still have a lot to learn.  I still believe that public servants like me should serve the people first.  I am here, not for the money or the recognition, but for the pleasure of being of service for the greater good.  And that is what it means to serve.

As what my friend would say: “In the service of the nation, I remain.”

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(*Note to readers:  No, I don’t have anything against call-center agents.  I have a lot of respect for them.  A lot of my friends actually depend on being such for their bread and butter.  Had I not been able to find a job at a government office, I would probably have applied.)